Rant ahead, so don't read if you don't want to. I just don't have anyone to talk to at this moment & I need to get this off my chest.
I have been feeling depressed for some time lately to the point where I'm trying to convince myself that killing myself is a bad idea. My mother makes it all worse, because I could 'get a grip', right? Because X. is doing well even though she has problems and so much work. I mean, it's great she does but telling me that makes me feel worse because I can't do even half of what she does. I have enough of hearing that I'm not trying hard enough and that I should finally do something. I have more than enough of my mother pretending she knows better than I what's happening in my mind & what I feel.
Even as I write this I feel like attention whore but I can't stop crying & life is too hard right now.